It Makes Profits
by Please Don't Hold Back
Summary: [Slash KyoyaTamaki] Kyoya finds out a way to make more profits for the host club and he plans to take advantage of it to the fullest extent.
1. Kyoya Plans It

Disclaimer: I do not own (or claim to own) the rights to Ouran High School Host Club. Don't sue.

**Chapter I  
Kyoya Plans It **

Kyoya stared at the information on his new laptop, wondering at the accuracy of it. In a recent survey concerning the Ouran High School Host Club regular costumers were asked to pair up the host club members.

Tamaki had suggested it and Kyoya had obediently followed through, but in the Shadow King's opinion the answers were extremely predictable. Hikaru and Kaoru would be matched together, as well as Hunny and Mori. Then the final match would be Tamaki and Haruhi. It left Kyoya completely out of the matching process, but it was something one should expect from sitting behind a computer instead of beside a customer.

However, the results of the surveys weren't quite that way. Hikaru and Koaru were still paired up, along with Hunny and Mori being a pair, but it was the last pair that had Kyoya confused. Instead of the predictable Haruhi and Tamaki pairing the majority of costumers had matched up Tamaki with Kyoya, leaving Haruhi to be unpaired.

Still, there was money to be made in this new information, and even though this time it involved selling himself out, Kyoya didn't plan on shying away.

* * *

Kyoya sat at his desk in the back corner of the room while the rest of the Ouran Host Club members entertained costumers. After thoroughly reviewing the possibilities and their probabilities he had come up with a plan. 

Kyoya decided that things would progress better if Tamaki were not aware of the new and rather odd pairing.

Tamaki's acting was excellent as long as he himself thought it was real. Obviously all the lines he told his costumers were lies and obviously he was just acting as though he liked them all-but Tamaki believed fully that it was all real, and that's what made all the difference.

Whenever Tamaki acted consciously he was doomed to fail. His lines were forced and monotonous and everything about him was made dull and plain. To put it into the easiest terms: Tamaki just tried to hard when he decided to attempt to act.

No, Kyoya wouldn't tell Tamaki a thing. _Let the idiot figure it out himself_. It would be Kyoya's job to pine and go after the Prince. If the costumers viewed it as a one-sided love then so be it-whatever raised profits.

"Tamaki," Kyoya said, coming clear across the room towards the blonde haired boy. "I need to talk to you."

"Yeah? Do you have a problem? Is it about our profits?" Tamaki asked, immediately worried; Kyoya had never bothered anyone while they was busy hosting; the Shadow King said that it interfered with the Host Club's member's ability to woo their customers.

"Come with me to the back room for a moment," Kyoya ordered, taking Tamaki's hand and leading him along without waiting for even a nod or shake of his friend's head.

"What is it? What's wrong?" Tamaki asked, his voice getting louder and more desperate.

"Be quiet a moment," Kyoya demanded as he shut the back room's door. It was no surprise that Tamaki was acting like this, Kyoya had already predicted it.

"Kyoya," Tamaki whined, still holding on to his friend's hand, "You've never dragged me off before. Something's terribly wrong. Tell me; what is it?"

Kyoya didn't stop Tamaki's rambling with an answer; he just stood in front of his friend and made sure that he was still holding the blonde's hand.

"Are you okay? Did something happen?" Tamaki continued, "Is someone hurt? Did I do something wrong? Did the twins-"

Kyoya finally pulled Tamaki forward and gave him a hard kiss that lasted several moments.

Finally Tamaki grasped the situation and pulled away. "K-Kyoya? What did…did you just…I mean…"

"It was to get you to shut up," Kyoya explained calmly, "Nothing bad has happened. Father just wants me home right away."

"But…why didn't you just leave?" Tamaki asked, still confused by the entire situation.

"I knew that if I didn't tell you everyone would decide to form a search party for me. It would have cut into the budget and we can't afford that," Kyoya explained the question he knew he would have to answer.

"Why didn't you just tell me out there?" Tamaki asked, being unusually inquisitive. "You didn't have to drag me away."

"None of the costumers would want to see you start flipping out. I decided that it would be best if you had your little outburst in private," Kyoya brought to light.

"Did you really have to kiss me though?" Tamaki asked. "You could have just closed your hand over my mouth or something."

Kyoya just rolled his eyes. "I didn't want you slobbering all over my hand. You're losing valuable costumers," he reminded his friend suddenly before shoving Tamaki out the door to avoid any more questions.

After Tamaki had gotten back to his costumers Kyoya reached over to a small bookcase and removed the video recorder from its hiding place. He would have to make sure that he took off the audio before he started making copies, but with the handholding and especially the kiss the tape was guaranteed to make a small little fortune.

* * *

_What did your father want?_

That was the last thing Tamaki said to Kyoya before dashing off to find Haruhi. The question came as a small surprise to Kyoya; Tamaki normally didn't think about things that had happened even an hour before, let alone a day. Of course Kyoya had put it in his mind as a possibility, so he wasn't completely caught off guard when his friend had asked, but it definitely was not expected.

Of course Tamaki hadn't waited for an answer, which led Kyoya to believe the blonde idiot was just trying to be polite.

But Kyoya was back at his desk, not particularly caring about Tamaki or the other host club members as he went through the profits.

A loud cry of "Mom!" caused Kyoya to look up from the neatly written figures on the paper in front of him to gaze upon the image of a bawling Tamaki.

"Haruhi's being mean!" Tamaki explained to Kyoya as he continued to cry. "She won't wear a dress for her daddy! I wanted her to wear a dress when we entertained costumers."

"I won't allow it even if she does say yes," Kyoya replied, defending Haruhi's answer while he quickly and secretly set up a video recorder trained on Tamaki and pressed play. "It would make her lose too many costumers, and she can't afford that."

"But Kyoya!" Tamaki whined, crying harder as he sat on his knees on the floor. "I wanna see Haruhi in a dress!"

Kyoya strode over and sat down in front the president, immediately pulling Tamaki into a hug. He inwardly winced as his friend's tears stained his school uniform, but he said nothing about it. "It'll be okay," he forced himself to comfort, "I'll take care of everything, okay?"

"R-really?" Tamaki asked, lifting his head from Kyoya's chest to look his friend in the eye. He stopped crying as he returned the embrace. "Oh Kyoya!" the president shouted in the same voice he used with his costumers, "I'm so happy to know that you'd do that for me!"

"I'd do anything for you," Kyoya replied, already doing some statistics of how much the video would make in profits.

"Really?" Tamaki asked again as tears of happiness streamed down his face.

"Of course," Kyoya answered, trying to sound as sincere as possible. "Anytime you need anything from me all you have to do is ask."

"Oh Kyoya!" Tamaki gushed, squeezing the Shadow King tighter. "You're the best friend anyone could ever ask for!"

Kyoya smiled, trying hard to make it warm and inviting instead of cold and calculating. "You don't know how happy it makes me to hear you say that."

"Tamaki!" Hunny burst out, jumping from Mori's back to Tamaki's. "Are we opening the club soon?"

"We're ready to open right now," Kyoya declared as he pushed Tamaki off of him and stood up to brush himself off. "Open the doors," he commanded as he walked back to his desk and secretly turned off the camera.

* * *

This will be three chapters long...and pretty short compared to the other stories I'm writing. It's also basically done, I'm just going to be proof-reading and posting the chapters up, so it won't take up any time that I would use for the other stories I'm working on and it will be completely finished relatively soon. 


	2. The Twins Ruin It

Disclaimer: I do not own (or claim to own) the rights to Ouran High School Host Club. Don't sue.

**Chapter II  
The Twins Ruin It**

Tamaki sat bawling in a corner of the Host Club room and had not stopped for several long minutes. The twins stood around him in an attempt to make him feel better (or perhaps worse, one could never really tell) but they just succeeded in making him cry even harder.

Of course this was a daily routine for the members of the Host Club; it was nothing out of the ordinary. In fact, Haruhi, Mori, and Hunni were just ignoring the Host Club President; unfortunately Kyoya couldn't join them.

Unlike most times Tamaki broke down this time was when the Host Club was supposed to be opening. Kyoya could hear the dissatisfied customers just outside the door. Every so often someone would twist the doorknob only to discover that the door was locked and then murmuring would occur. After the muttering calmed down someone else would try the doorknob and it would start up all over again.

On an up-note, it gave Kyoya the perfect chance to make another video of his and Tamaki's peusdo love. Working quietly to make sure no one noticed he pulled out a small video camera and hit record.

"Stop teasing him," Kyoya commanded the twins as he stepped out from behind his desk and into the view of the camera. "Don't you have jobs you should be doing?"

The twins shared a glance at each other (knowing their fun had been ruined) before striding off to do damage elsewhere.

"What happened?" Kyoya asked Tamaki before he crouched down to be at eye level with his friend.

"Haru called me a pervert!" Tamaki screamed, crying even harder.

"Come here," Kyoya commanded with some reluctance as he opened up his arms to invite Tamaki into a hug.

"Mommy!" Tamaki cried, flinging himself into his friends arms so hard he successfully knocked both himself and Kyoya onto the ground. Tamaki tumbled while still holding onto the Shadow King, resulting in Kyoya being on his back and Tamaki lying right on top of him.

"Haru was just teasing," Kyoya assured, slipping into a comforting tone. "You aren't a pervert, okay? Everything's fine."

"Thanks Kyoya," Tamaki replied as he burrowed his face into his best friend's chest. "I feel better now."

"Good enough to open up the Host Club's doors for its customers?" Kyoya asked to make sure.

"Yeah," Tamaki assured with a bright smile before he started to climb off of Kyoya.

"Good," the Shadow King replied, "The Host Club wouldn't be the same if we didn't have you." Without another word Kyoya kissed Tamaki softly on the forehead, disentangled himself from his friend, and then walked swiftly back to his desk, all the while thinking about the video tape and the money to be made with the new video footage.

_I hope that wasn't too mushy to be thought of as weird. I'm definitely going to have to take out most of the conversation again. This video will definitely price higher than the last one; there's more affection this time around. Plus, I've already got quite a few buyers hooked by now._

* * *

"Greetings Mi'Lord," the twins greeted in unison as soon as Kyoya had stepped away from the President and gone back to his desk. 

"Hello Children," Tamaki greeted happily, "How are you this fine afternoon?"

"We've noticed something Mi'Lord," Kaoru said quietly.

"Something about Kyoya," Hikaru elaborated.

"What is it? Is Kyoya sick?" Tamaki asked, already panicking for no real reason.

"No," Hikaru said with obviousness filling his voice. "He's been getting very friendly with you, hasn't he?" he asked with clear inuendo.

"That's because our friendship is blooming," Tamaki gushed with happiness, completely oblivious to what the two brothers were trying to suggest.

"Yeah, blooming into full blown homosexuality," both twins chorused with deadpan faces. Without waiting to hear what their President had to say they both walked off with twin looks of mock-disgust.

Tamaki looked over at Kyoya as his friend typed away at the computer. Could it really be true that Kyoya liked him? If that was true why wasn't he saying anything? Was it because the Shadow King was afraid of what Tamaki would say?

At that moment in time Tamaki decided to make it his duty to ensure that Kyoya knew that his friend was there for him no matter what.


	3. Tamaki Worsens It

Disclaimer: I do not own (or claim to own) the rights to Ouran High School Host Club. Don't sue.

**Chapter III  
Tamaki Worsens It**

Kyoya was both happy and disgusted at the same time. Sales had gone up since he started releasing tapes and pictures of him and Tamaki together, and nothing made him as happy as successfully pulling off a scheme to earn some extra money. Unfortunately and unexpectedly Tamaki had noticed the fact that Kyoya was getting more affectionate with him and just assumed his best friend had a crush. Needless to say it left Kyoya in a slightly awkward position.

"Kyoya!" Tamaki shouted as soon as he saw his friend.

Kyoya was knocked out of his thoughts as soon as Tamaki ran into him and pushed him onto the ground. "What?"

"What?" Tamaki answered in confusion as he lifted himself right above Kyoya.

"Is there a reason you pounced on me and are now hovering above me?" Kyoya asked with some annoyance. "If not, I have work I need to get finished."

"Oh," was all Tamaki said in a hurt voice as he picked himself up with tears in his eyes. "Sorry." Without another word to the Shadow King he sulked off and went to pout in a corner looking very dejected.

Kyoya fought hard not to threaten someone in order to release his anger. He didn't need Tamaki acting so sulky right before they were supposed to be opening the Host Club's doors. Instead of getting angry like a common person would, however, he decided to see it as a perfect way to make another Tamaki and Kyoya video for the fan girls. He went to his desk, set up a video camera, pressed record, and went over to console his friend.

"Tamaki," Kyoya said as gently as possible. "Are you okay?"

The president shook his head 'no' while secretly thriving on the attention he was experiencing.

"What's wrong?" Kyoya asked as he crouched down to be eye-level with his friend. He put a hand on Tamaki shoulder to make sure there was even more affection in this video than the last two.

"You-you don't like me," Tamaki said quietly, not meeting Kyoya's eyes. "I thought we were supposed to be best friends."

"I do like you," Kyoya said, intelligently leaving off the 'you idiot' he had the impulse to put at the end of his sentence. "We _are_ best friends. What would make you think that we aren't?"

"You were mean to me when I went to hug you," Tamaki accused in a loud and hurt voice as he burst into more tears.

"I'm sorry," Kyoya apologized, trying to sound as if he meant it, "You just took me by surprise is all. I'm not used to physical contact." That would get some fans; girls seemed to be obsessed with pitiful boys.

"Really? That's the only reason you pulled away?" Tamaki asked with trust in his voice.

"Yes," Kyoya answered confidently before cupping the president's cheek and brushing his friend's tears away with his thumb. "I'm sorry if I upset you."

"You're the best friend ever, Kyoya," Tamaki yelled as he flung himself into the Shadow King's arms and starting to cry tears of joy.

As soon as a flying Tamaki launched itself at Kyoya and landed in his arms the poor Vice President lost his balance once again and toppled onto the floor, bringing the blonde boy with him. Kyoya took a well thought out risk and swiftly kissed Tamaki on his forehead. "Now it's time to open the Host Club's doors," he declared. "Are you ready?"

"I'm always ready for lovely ladies!" Tamaki announced as he jumped off his friend and made his way near the door to welcome the customers.

Kyoya got up quickly after his friend and made his way to his desk placed in the corner of the room. Shutting off the video camera he didn't know whether to be amused because of how oblivious Tamaki seemed to be or disgusted at the senseless dribble that he had forced himself to puke out.

* * *

"Kyoya?" Tamaki asked quietly a few meters away from Kyouya and his desk. 

"Yes?" Kyoya replied, still busily typing away and barely registering his friend's presence.

"Are you okay? Is there anything you want to tell me?" the President questioned with some caution, afraid of what Kyoya would do or say as a response.

"Yes," Kyoya answered in a distracted voice. "I'm fine and no, there is nothing I want to tell you," he assured his concerned President.

"You're sure?" the blonde asked in an uncertain voice. "There's nothing bothering you?"

"There's nothing bothering me," Kyoya repeated the question as his answer.

"No one else is here," Tamaki pointed out, "You don't have to keep lying to keep up appearances."

Kyoya glanced up for a millisecond and realized that what his friend said was true; no one else was around. He had been so busy with the Host Club's budget he hadn't even noticed it was getting late in the evening. "I see that," he answered in his same distant and distracted voice.

"So, is there something you want to tell me?" Tamaki asked again with what could only be seen as nervousness as he shifted from foot to foot.

"No," Kyoya answered, looking his friend in the face for the first time during the entire conversation. "Is there something that you want me to tell you?" he asked after he had sent the President a well-placed confused look. Tamaki wasn't the type of person to be cautious; he normally burst right into things in his overly dramatic way without ever considering the consequences.

"I know the truth," Tamaki declared, finally slipping into the over-dramatic routine that Kyoya knew so well. He struck a pose, flinging the back of his hand up to his forehead and doing his best to look devastated. "When were you planning on telling me?"

"I was waiting for you to figure it out on your own," Kyoya answered, still not sure what the blonde was talking about but ready to make his friend think that he did. It could have really been anything; Kyoya had done quite a bit that Tamaki didn't know about, but at the same time a lot of them were things that Tamaki would have most likely not cared about. Did his friend actually find out something that had made him feel like Kyoya didn't trust him? Or had the blonde just decided to try his hand at acting? Neither were very probable, but Kyoya couldn't think of anything else that would make Tamaki act so strangely.

"Figure it out on my own?" Tamaki asked with an offended expression on his face as Kyoya went through his mental lists, looking for anything that he had done lately that would cause his friend to act this way. "Were you afraid of what I'd do if I found out or was this just some sort of test to find out whether I noticed your feelings or not?"

Kyoya didn't answer because he had figured out what Tamaki had probably found out, and with Kyoya 'probablies' were considered 'definites'. The Shadow King mentally groaned as he realized his friend must have been talking about the crush he thought the other boy had on him. Kyoya had thought Tamaki was already passed it, but appearently he wasn't.

Kyoya let himself really think about it for the first time since he had suspected Tamaki knew about the peusdo crush. Someone had to have told him; obviously Tamaki couldn't have found out on his own, he was much too dense. More than likely the twins had seen his act and had decided to tell Tamaki for the amusement that was sure to follow. The Shadow King's eyes glinted as he began to plan for the pay back the twins were sure to suffer.

"Is it true, Kyoya?" Tamaki asked, dropping out of his dramatic position to become serious once more. "Tell me the truth."

Kyoya never believed in telling the truth, even when his 'best friend' asked him what the truth was, so when Tamaki demanded to know the truth Kyoya's mind went directly to what answer would help him more.

If he said 'no' and then explained the situation chances were that Tamaki wouldn't be able to lie so outrightly to his fans.

He could simply say 'no' and stop at that, but the probabilities of having this conversation again if his behavior didn't change were high.

If he said 'no' and things went back to the way they were before Kyoya's brilliant scheme he would lose money that he had already considered acquired.

If he said 'yes' then Tamaki would still be friends with him; the President wasn't one to let things like that get in the way of friendship. However, there was some risk of Tamaki getting frightened off, which would cause his beautifully laid plans to go to waste.

_Which one was the best answer?_

"Yes," Kyoya decided within seconds of the question, expecting Tamaki to accept it and never speak of it again. At the very least the rumors would start flowing and Kyoya would get sympathy, which led to more purchases of his supplies being made.

Unfortunately Tamaki did something that Kyoya had never thought had the probability have happening.

_He kissed him._

And to Kyoya's surprise and slight amusement he realized that he had enjoyed it.


End file.
